Squid Various

Get well soon, George. We need you around to record that podcast with Jake and Momo.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:46:10 -0500

And now I’m trying to come up with a name for a podcast by three cats from the internet. Time for bed.

What’s the word for “better than perfect?”

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:09:45 -0500

What’s the word for “better than perfect?”

Perfect.

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:09:07 -0500

Perfect.

That’s pretty much what the twitchy guy in front of the...

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:08:01 -0500

That’s pretty much what the twitchy guy in front of the post office has been saing about Obama from the beginning.

Huh.

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:56:50 -0500

Huh.

My parents’ childrearing philosophy is made plain.

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:32:18 -0500

My parents’ childrearing philosophy is made plain.

The current level of political discourse

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:57:00 -0500

Today’s high should be in the “Here, let me tell you what you believe” range, but expect it to drop quickly around primetime.

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 08:23:55 -0500

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Beat this.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:37:21 -0500

My prom date and I were at the dance for about 20 minutes, tops. Then something went snap and we started laughing at how ridiculous everyone was acting. We left and went to a coffee shop, sipping mochas in evening attire, dancing in the parking lot.

We’re married now.

Honey has christened her new betta Fishstick. As in, the dance. I married up.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 11:05:42 -0500

Honey has christened her new betta Fishstick. As in, the dance. I married up.

This photo goes all the way back to the olden days of Aught Two,...

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 22:29:20 -0500

This photo goes all the way back to the olden days of Aught Two, so that would have made me a college sophomore. See that Nokia candy bar phone? I loved that phone. They don’t make ‘em like that any more.

This house was on a hillside looking out over the rest of the city from about 150 feet up. With the right kind of telescope on a clear night, you could see right into my bedroom from downtown. I mostly hated that place, but that porch, pictured left, was spiffy.

I should find that phone.

The page holder on my desk broke, and spilled thousands of tiny...

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 10:12:48 -0500

The page holder on my desk broke, and spilled thousands of tiny glass spheres all over my office.

My morning is now completely booked.

America, it’s time we got serious about our healthcare situation, and that means we need...

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:02:11 -0500

America, it’s time we got serious about our healthcare situation, and that means we need really try harder at treating smokers and obese people as subhuman monstrosities. Medical science has shown repeatedly that there are only 2 reasons why people smoke and gain large amounts of weight:

They think it’s healthy
They do it for all the positive attention they receive

No, really. Don’t bother asking them, especially obese people, as their ability to understand complex thoughts has undoubtedly been compromised by the noxious trans fats they’re always consuming. The only loving thing you can do is tell them how much they repulse you, the walking medical liabilities, and that you only hope they die from their revolting gluttonous ways before they can corrupt your children. If they start crying, that means you’ve made an impact on them.

It is especially compassionate to spit on them.

If you have friends or family who are obese and, for whatever reason, are not likely to respond well to insults and ostracism, you should use your relationship to try to convince them to stop being fat. Here are some quick suggestions:

Suggest that they go on a lower calorie diet. Most obese people have never considered dieting before, and they’re certain to take the suggestion well. To encourage them, try relating the story of how you gained 9 1/2 pounds on that cruise to the Caymans, but worked it all off on the elliptical trainer in time for bikini season. This is exactly the sort of story they can relate to.
Emphasize the health problems associated with their weight. The fact is that the media, bought off by restaurants and food producers, seldom reports on the fact that unhealthy food is bad for you. As the lard-tard’s loving friend, it’s your duty to emphasize these facts, as often as possible.
Sometimes obese people will try to blame their obesity on depression or hormonal problems. This is a lie. Remember, fat people are jolly, and you should remind them of this firmly.

I don’t have any idea what to do about the smokers. Apartheid is probably the only realistic option.

You know how in the monster movies, the president calls a council to discuss what to do about the...

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:43:00 -0500

You know how in the monster movies, the president calls a council to discuss what to do about the monster, and the general insists on using nuclear weapons, but the scientist stands up to say, no, we can’t use nuclear weapons, because the evidence clearly shows that exposure to nuclear weapons causes the monster to metamorphose into its most terrifying form, and the general says that dammit, we have to act now, and if we don’t, the city could be destroyed, and Mr. President, the American people are looking to you, and this scientist has never been out of his university lab, much less out onto the battlefield, and the president thinks hard, then orders a nuclear strike?

Economists know exactly how that scientist feels.

How ‘bout that minimum wage hike, huh?

And just like that, you just lost your credibility on that whole “sanctity of human...

Sun, 31 May 2009 21:52:02 -0500

And just like that, you just lost your credibility on that whole “sanctity of human life” thing.

10 things that economists agree on

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:55:12 -0600

10 things that economists agree on:

…and politicians of all stripes ignore. Some of this is pretty surprising when you consider that the majority of economists are Democrats.

God Hates Shrimp

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:36:00 -0600

God Hates Shrimp:

Brilliant guerilla campaign.

Because The Only Thing The Internet Likes Better Than Porn Is Economics.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:20:00 -0600

According to Keynesian economic theory, government spending improves a sagging economy because recessions are caused by drops in private spending. So according to Keynes, the Iraq war should have provided $100B worth of stimulus. No sarcasm involved here; it was under Keynesian economic theory that people started saying that WWII got the US out of the Depression.

Strictly speaking, under Keynesianism, it doesn’t matter what the government spends money on—they could buy $787B worth of Snuggies—it would still stimulate the economy because it increases the amount of money available to consumers in the economy. When Obama said that only the federal government had the resources to get us out of this crisis, he was relying on Keynes’ theory that the government can still accrue debt because no one can stop them from doing so. Neither Keynes nor, presumably, Obama thought that there was a secret federal savings account somewhere.* If there were, you wouldn’t need Keynesian economics to explain what the economy’s problem was or how to fix it. Keynes only enters the picture when there is no money to be spent because consumer confidence has dried up. All that matters is government deficit spending spent on real goods as quickly as possible.

If you examine what Congress actually did with the stimulus bill, you’ll see that that they didn’t actually follow the Keynesian line of thought. If they did, they would be delighted that bank executives were stimulating the economy with expensive lunches and corporate jets. They’d be ecstatic about oil company profits and would be putting their heads together trying to figure out ways to raise gas prices even more. No, I’m serious; remember that in the Derpression, FDR and his team put a lot of work into raising the price of dairy goods, even mandating the slaughter of thousands of dairy cows. And keep in mind that a lot of families couldn’t afford milk already. But this is Keynesianism. If they theory works at all, this is how it works.

Only, that’s not how it’s going to work. Your congressman is perfectly aware that the logical conclusions of Keynesianism are unpopular and have had 80 years of practical and academic criticism to make them less appealing to us than they were to our grandparents. Your representatives in Congress are going to cherry-pick the parts of Keynesianism that will bring him obvious benefit, reject the parts that don’t, and understand none of it. Keynesian economists like Paul Krugman at the NYT are positive on the the stimulus because they happen to believe that virtually any immediate government spending will improve matters. I can guarantee you he doesn’t believe for a second the shiploads of C-SPAN-ready economic bullshit about what will industries will jobs create and what won’t. Keynesianism has its flaws and spurious conclusions, but it can still be treated seriously as a scientific theory. The bullshit spilling out of Congress can’t. On the evolutionary biology model of scientific sanity, Pelosi wouldn’t even register as a smart intelligent design advocate. She’d be ignoring evolution because she an’ Barney saw a dinosaur once in the backyard after kindergarten an’ it was SO COOL.

Regrettably, her stupidity isn’t nearly as cheap as private stupidity.

*Side note: governments are not really able to save money the same way as normal organizations can. With a bank, any money that goes into savings is reinvested immediately in loans or securities so the bank can turn a profit. Not so with the Treasury. Since they issue and back the currency, when they try to save cash, it effectively destroys it by taking it out of circulation altogether. This causes huge deflation when they start saving and huge inflation when they start spending. This is part of the reason why resolving Social Security and Medicare liabilities is so tricky. The trust funds that are supposed to fund them in the future aren’t actual literal dollars saved in a federal mattress so much as a check from the treasury to itself. Better than nothing at all, but it still depends on being able to make good on it. Incidentally, if you look at it from another angle, you can see why a big government surplus is nearly as bad for the the economy as a deficit, and for the same reason.

Fourteen propositions commonly held by economists.

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 10:55:16 -0600

Fourteen propositions commonly held by economists.:

phantasmagorical:

In short, they don’t like protectionism or rent controls.

Continuing the high-quality economics coverage you come to my tumblr to read.

"Atheists claim to value reason above blind faith and individuality above the lock-step certitude of..."

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 11:25:00 -0600

“

Atheists claim to value reason above blind faith and individuality above the lock-step certitude of religion. My own rejection of faith, I hoped, would allow me to indulge in wicked thoughts and pork-based dishes. I hoped I could, forever, avoid hallelujah get-togethers, groupthinky organizations and constraining labels.

Yet, these days, atheists are organized. They’re activists. They will probably sue you. They have become exasperatingly earnest, hopelessly serious and unnecessarily pushy.

They have, in other words, become as tedious as Joel Osteen. And there are few greater sins.

”

- David Harsanyi, Denver Post